Proper Timing

I'm hard on myself when it comes to not doing all the things I want to do. This is ironic because this is usually a characteristic of someone who actually gets a lot of things done, which I do not. Either I have unrealistic goals or I am constantly underperforming.

But facing my own inner taskmaster, I must justify these past few years by looking outside of myself objectively.

I had postponed pursuing a potential career option and instead took a stab at a passion of mine for a few years outside of work. Though I learned a lot it didn't take off like I had hoped. Rather, it was a rocky road and there were some casualties because of my immaturity in the role and I had to end it. There were times I felt I failed, wasted my time and lost my chances of pursuing my dreams.

Then I took a year to do some volunteer work to try out another area of interest which brought me to applying to school to pursue my original career option.

I don't regret trying out my passion even though it took years to work up to and then fizzle out. And I know I can't blame myself for ending it when it wasn't working out because I tried my hardest and was as faithful as I could be while I was in it.

I still have dreams for that passion of mine but I wonder when it will happen and how it will happen since I have taken another route and since my first attempt was not lasting.

They say in relationships that it has to be the right person and the right time for it to work out. Sometimes you find the right person but you can't force things because it's just not the right timing.

This passion of mine keeps coming up. Perhaps it is the right thing for me but not the right time. Maybe it will converge with my new career focus or even replace it completely in the future. I'll have to wait and see and keep walking.